come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
