I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He better not be in your backpack
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize