It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
