I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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