I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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