Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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