too bad you live with your parents still
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
