Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize