The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you win again, gameday.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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