Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
