my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize