i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
