WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
