I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
