i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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