he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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