I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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