the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
