just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
