can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize