Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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