Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
