And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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