yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
