On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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