I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You're like the curious george of whores
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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