whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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