i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
