That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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