....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
