yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize