Sry I called you an 8
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
