Sry I called you an 8
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
