are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
