she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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