People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
