Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
True strength comes from lack of pants
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
