My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
