Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
