Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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