Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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