The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Christians are straight up FREAKS
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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