Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
