It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
