I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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