I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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