just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
