is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
