Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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