What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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