You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
