STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize