is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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