Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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