clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
