You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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