dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
