It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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