just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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