Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
