I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
