I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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